Tuesday, August 12, 2014

THIS. IS. SO. HARD.

2014 has been a big year. I turned 50. My mom turned 95. My son graduated from high school. We just dropped my son off at college this weekend. Our 20th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks. Along with that, I've had my first kidney stone and my first root canal (hopefully the last for both of these, but I'm not turbo confident). My mom has also gotten quite sick and been in the hospital for a couple of weeks. With the good, comes the bad. What a joyous occasion to take your child to college...but it is also a huge adjustment and along with the joy I feel sad and I miss him terribly. I'm really blessed, though. My life has not been hard. 
That said, THIS is hard. This frigging journey with food and exercise is hard! This constant ebb and flow of positive actions and progress that seem to eventually be negated by fear and failure. Why does this have to be so hard?! 
Fortunately, for me, I have a good support group that continues to kindly urge me to do the right thing for my health. You know who you are! All of you have helped make a difference at different times in this bumpy little journey. Looking forward to many great years of friendship with my son is a good motivator to continually strive to be healthier, for sure! Most recently, thank you Jim for leaving me messages that I don't return because I don't want to face the fact that I haven't worked out in weeks and I'm eating with no regard for my health. Thank you, Kerri, for reaching out to me and fitting me into your schedule when you really don't have any time for you. Kerri, I promised you I would write another blog post before I walked back in your door and here it is. It doesn't have much humor in it. It doesn't really have a beginning, middle, end. This is just me writing about how hard this is because I promised you I would. And, in typical Craig fashion, I'm writing this 45 minutes before I meet you this morning. Procrastination, oh good lord, that is a whole other beast.
Everything I've ever read about self-improvement suggests journaling as a positive way to aid progress. I must admit it feels good to dump some of this in words. At some point, I hope to write something that is more fun and funny to read. Maybe funny is not required?
Today, I'm just writing, because this is hard.